Do you believe in signs? Signs that are sent from our angels and departed loved ones? I am a firm believer in "signs" if you are able to maintain an open mind and open heart. Trying to dig deeply into the meaning of little things or eagerly anticipating the presence of a lost loved one is almost like watching paint dry. It almost always just doesn't happen. But if one keeps his or her heart wide open than even the smallest occurrence can signify a strong presence.
When you are least expecting a "sign" at least for me that is, is when my Katie makes her presence felt. Let us talk about the rainbow. Exactly 3 months from the date of Katie’s death, my husband and I with our two boys were at the baseball field, FoxRok. Both boys had different games and B and I walking in-between the two fields so we could watch both boys play. All of a sudden, E shouted, a Rainbow!!! Far above our heads on that bright, sunny day, an inverted rainbow smiled down upon us. No clouds were in sight and rain was not in the forecast. So where did the rainbow come from? You may have your scientific explanations and logical answers....however I maintain my belief that it was my daughter letting us all know that she was okay. I shed many tears that wonderful evening; both tears of extreme grief and hopefulness. Missing my Katie from my core but allowing myself to believe that she was in this paradise called Heaven.
There are other little signs that allow me to feel my daughter's presence. A butterfly fluttering nearby, or the lights in our hallway turning themselves on. Her favorite toy plays at 2 in the morning, or the color of a text on the computer not changing from her favorite color, blue. There will be, a ladybug on my windshield, another butterfly asleep on our window or a bright twinkling star shining directly in our window. There have been many, many signs...and I have learned to not purposely go around looking or waiting for them. I accept that they will appear when I am not expecting them, in the smallest but most significant of ways.
Seeing those “signs” make my day and can turn a bad one into a hopeful and grateful day. I have accepted the fact that even though Katie’s physical presence is no longer with me I can find her spirit in so many beautiful things around me. This gives me the hope and strength to keep moving forward with my life and to carry her spirit within my heart. I know that I meet my baby again in Heaven, but until then, her “signs” will be openly welcomed and received.
So to all of you who have lost loved ones.... please try to keep an open mind and open heart...do not go looking for the “signs”. Just accept even the smallest ones...and feel your loved one’s presence in your everyday occurrences.
